Illusion

I watched Transformers 3 last night. It was not the best movie I’ve ever seen, but the scenes that portrayed  a battle to be fought, beauty to be obtained and protected, and sacrifice made so that good conquers over evil made me sit up just a little straighter, my mind and body become a little tense, my heart jump.

Yes, my heart jumped. And I knew that this excitement evoked in me was not merely from a battle flickering across a screen in a movie theater. It must have been from something much more. And not just from this movie. From every excitement, every pain, every story, every person I meet, a feeling stirs in me that this all REMINDS me of something. No, I’ve never lived another life. But I think there is a greater story imprinted, very lightly, at the very center of my mind and heart, waiting to meet the “key” that will open my soul up to what I was made to live for.

Bad Illusion

In my ponderings, I concluded that there is constant illusion occurring. First, bad illusion. Simply, there is reality and there is what is not reality—illusion. And my mind is the only gateway to living in either reality or illusion. The basic law behind this illusion is one: earth is my final destination. Thus, I cry at loss of beauty and good, I cry at aging and death and destruction, and I cry whenever I discover a glimmer that perhaps this earth is broken, and ugly, and weak, and divided, and unjust, and miserable. But this is not a fun feeling. So, I look at the illusion of “true love,” unwavering sacrifice, and unstoppable strength and power, flicker across movie screens. THIS is a much nicer feeling. Earth like this makes me happy. Reconciliation, closeness, happy endings where all receive their just reward, and time stops, so that nothing will ever change. THIS satisfies me. For a moment . . . but then it doesn’t . . . and I wonder how so many are satisfied with this illusion . . .  Is it possible that that is why we live in a movie theater, or a book, or magazine, or with friends that keep that illusion alive? Dare I associate with the ugly and broken and weak, and be reminded that this is reality. Let my bubble of illusion pop?

Good Illusion

So, earth is ugly and broken and aging and dying. Such SAD reality. It is. But as much of bad news as that is, I am excited that there is very VERY good news! As much as one may live at a screen or novel to escape from a reality that is too hard to bear, there is another option! Yes, there is an even DEEPER illusion . . . so to speak. The illusion of reality here on earth . . . so to speak.

It is true that this earth, in all its brokenness, is reality, but it is only partially true. ACTUALLY, the “real broken earth” and the “fake greatness across the screen” is now REVERSED. What I had deeply hoped for (but at a very deep level disbelieved to ever be true) IS TRUE! The broken earth is now the illusion, and the love, and hope, and sacrifice, and beauty and strength and power and battle of good conquering over evil, flickering across the screen is THE REALITY!!!

Well, not here. Not exactly in the way I can see. And that is the disappointment. But don’t let it disappoint me. It does not mean that it is not there, and that I will not one day be able to see it!!!!

I will!!! The deeper illusion from the Great Deceiver is that this earth will always be this way, that forever will always be this way, and that my only option is to numb my pain of this reality with non-action as I sit and entertain myself with “illusions”.

But NO! I will not be numbed!!! I know the truth. I know the deeper illusion. This earth is not the end. This earth will be TRANSFORMED, and it will not be broken and aging and dying! THIS is reality! And can I live it every day? In hope, that I, too, will be transformed. Though perhaps 60 or 70 years away, it will come! I will be touched by a “fountain of youth” and not grow old. I will be transformed, as in the fairy tales, into the beautiful princess (so to speak!), and given a position of reigning over parts of the earth. I will live in a perfect world that has been created and maintained because a GREAT BATTLE has been won and good has conquered over evil. And, even more, I will live with my True Love! The One my heart jumps for. THIS IS REALITY!!! But it is the not-yet. It is my hope and my faith that hold me on . . .

And in the meantime, in these next 60 years, what will I do? What will I do for the kingdom, that I deeply believe is coming? Which illusion do I hold on to? Will I stop wasting time creating an illusion to numb me from the pain? Or will I live in the (somewhat painful) reality that FULL REALITY is not yet here? And in obedience to my Savior hold on to the hope that my Prince is coming?

I cannot even imagine what it will look like, be like, and dare not say words to blaspheme it, but I will believe. I will hold on. He is coming for me. And it will be glorious.