Known

My small group and I once sat around to talk about our idiosyncrasies. Rather than tell our own, we had the group tell each individual of a little strange thing we often did. One guy had a certain facial expression, another guy a certain greeting, one girl had a way of clapping her hands together when she was excited, and another played with her hair. “What about me? What about me?” I asked excitedly. Not because I wanted to know something strange about myself, but because I wanted to know that I was KNOWN. Without a moment’s pause, several friends cried out in unison “Waaaaaaa!!!” We all laughed. We knew it was true. I scream “Waaaa” at funny things, scary things, surprising things. But I felt more than humored . . . I felt loved. I was known, and I love to be known.

I have a number of really great friends. I love these people. But also something that I love so much about these friendships is the satisfaction of knowing and being known. What movie they would choose to see, or color they would pick in a shirt, or food item they would order off the menu. What they would say to a corny joke, or to someone’s pain.

I play the “guessing game” with my mom and close friends. Guess where I went today?? Or what I made for dinner or what I did that week. And I make them guess. I just like to be affirmed of how well they know me! And like to guess about them too! J

As I continue on in the Christian walk, and learn more and more that my walk is an ever-increasing Encounter with THE mysterious, all-knowing, all-powerful, Lord over all creation, Most High and Most Holy God, I think of relationship. He called us servants, friends, lovers, children—all terms indicating our RELATIONSHIP with and to Him.

I’ve also often heard of Christianity fondly called a relationship rather than religion. I’ve liked that. Yet, I don’t know that I’ve really understood it.

God.

Mysterious God. A Being. That I can’t see. Listening to me, walking with me, talking with me. Even as I grow CLOSER in my relationship with God, I still doubt. Does He really act like a PERSON?

I’m doing a study on Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the book of Genesis right now. It’s so crazy, yet SOOO thrilling to see how they each engaged with God as a Person. They talked with Him, argued with Him, took Him at His Word and FOLLOWED Him across desert lands, believing that they would own that people-filled land for themselves simply because He said. Not only did they see Him as a Person, but they also saw Him as Most High God, sovereign, and all-powerful to perform His promises. That BAFFLES me. What?? Abraham was called the FRIEND of God. Really? WOW.

When I discovered how much God entered (transcended really) into relationship with people, to call them friends . . . I began to think about how much I myself love relationship. Hmmm . . . I wonder where I got that from?? And there it is. HIM. He loves it.

And I think how I have wanted to be known for quite some time. I remember doing a lip sync contest with some friends my freshman year in college. I was Sporty Spice in our Spice Girl’s song, and I did some acrobatic flips. Hahaha . . . I was a freshman, okay! We won an award, got to compete at another school, got compliments from fellow-classmates for weeks to follow. What surprised me was when a few guys on my cross-country team said that they had no idea I could do that. My immediate thought was, “How could you have known?” But I realized I’ve done the same. I’ve thought I’ve known people just as much as they thought they knew me.

And, oh, I did want to be known. And not just a part, but all of me. As a teenager, I would get a little bit emotional and feel unloved if someone made an assumption or inaccurate conclusion about me. I took it personally. Of course, as an adult, I’m less emotional over it! J And I’m more quick to offer information about myself to correct any misunderstandings. But it still kinda, sometimes, makes me feel bad when I am not known or understood.

And as I see God as a Person, I wonder how He wants to be known. He is such a balance between purposeful mystery, and purposeful revealing. He wants to be known, I think, but He also wants to be hidden. I wonder at this often.

I seek Him so much. I delve into His Word. I do know Him more and more. Personal encounters with Him. Conversations. It’s even His mystery that draws me in. And yet, I don’t know Him. It never just comes all at once, as if “oh, NOW I know Him.” No, it’s as if relational intimacy must be sought after continually with sincerity and time and great interest. He wants to be pursued and REALLY known for who He is!! WOA!!! That’s soooo cool! I feel like that some times. Whether it’s a dating relationship, or any friend trying to get close, I am slow. There is a process. There are levels of relational intimacy. It is neither cheap nor easy to be known. And time is required, and great sincerity. Hmmm . . .

I think of times I would like to say, “Oh, I know so and so,” as if that connection would make me more popular or valuable. I do that with God sometimes too. He is my show-God. And I do believe that God likes to be shown off, and wants me to be proud of Him. I am. He is MOST HIGH GOD. But I am discovering that there is a side of Him that wants to be very personal with me, not just my show-God.

For so long, I’ve wanted to know me. Know thyself, I quote with confidence and courage. I try to let others in, to journey through discovering my gifts and uniqueness, and to value it as good simply because He made me that way.

But oh, let me be silent for just a moment. I’ll get back to me. Believe me, I will.

 Let me know Him.

And as I do, maybe I will discover how very much He wants to know me.

The Christian’s life can NEVER be called boring. If it is ever felt, portrayed in our culture as something that is passive and repressive and cold, I dare to say that is Satan’s work. Because . . . as I know it, the Walk is a heated and courage-demanding and exciting fight and ride every day that I’ve walked it! But more than that, it is KNOWING, personally, the Most High God. Being FRIENDS! Until, that day when I will sit and drink and talk and with Him in PERSON forever and ever and ever.

Come, Jesus, soon.